My Love Is Not Hate

 

My Love

Is Not

Hate

 

by Tanisha Eileen Hamelin

My Love Is Not Hate By Tanisha Eileen Hamelin

My Love Is Not Hate by Tanisha Eileen Hamelin, a poem about navigating love while being a little messed up. How my love is not hate, and the truth can be as bad as a lie. This poem was written in my mid twenties and going through a lot in my relationships. I often felt like my relationships really took a backseat to my mental health, and that journey. I never had the full ability to focus on being with someone, or even resolving the fears or issues I had that made me push away. I often felt like I couldn't explain myself and I left some pretty good guys probably wondering, what did I do wrong. Truthfully it was me, and not them, but I couldn't explain it easily. Then I wrote this poem, and well, its one of my favourites.

 

My Love Is Note Hate by Tanisha Eileen Hamelin

 

I feel messed up, cursed with attraction

Doing me feels right but caused some fucked up interaction

 

I don’t mean to leave these men in this questioning state

But if honesty is a virtue then love is hate

 

I’ve got nothing to hide and I live with no shame

When you live like that though you’re expected to take blame

 

I’m an open book judge all you like

my concern is me

I’ll always tell you, do what makes you feel right

 

I love and I learn but make no promises about that

It can be hard to handle when I ask, just sit back

 

I know my imperfections my weakness is clear

Accept it because I gave up shedding tears

 

Be who you are, I can’t get mad with that

All I ask is you respect me with the same courtesy back

 

Even when it hurts you, the truth I can always admit

A sucker for punishment or growing pains I live for that shit

 

Calmly i’ll tell you, i’m fucked up in that way

You don’t hafta understand

Just realize sometimes even I don’t have a say

 

You question my truth, it doesn’t seem real

Hard to believe and it hurts you

It isn’t a stretch to know how you feel

 

Doing me is ok, focused on the my

But love can’t be hate, not at the same time

And being honest can be as bad as a lie

 

By Tanisha Eileen Hamelin, 2010

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